I have a huge fear of death, or rather annihilation. I used to be an atheist. That was just a small step after leaving religion. I didn't really think about consciousness back then, it seemed obvious - we are physical beings. Then suddenly came the realisation of my mortality. That was the worst time of my life. I was going to therapy and it was helping with my everyday problems, but this one persists many years later. There was a time when I really believed life was meaningful and death wasn't the end, but unfortunately I'm losing this belief. It's just not good enough... I observed something interesting - even when I read something I find illogical writen by a materialist, I still am overcome by panic. What if he's right? It doesn't matter that what he's saying is nonsense. I'm terrified. I'm sorry about writing so much about my fears, maybe it's not the right place, but I'd really appreciate your help. If you can link me the best works - scientific or not - regarding consciousness, I'd be thankful. I remember seeing a compiled list of evidence linked on this forum (NDE's, conscousness, etc.) Does anyone know where I can find it? Finally I'd appreciate some thoughts from you on my issue. Thanks and sorry again if it isn't the right place to post this.
Here is an index of discussions here at Skeptiko:
http://www.skeptiko-forum.com/threads/index-of-skeptiko-threads-related-resources.3851/
It probably hasn't been updated for about 6 months, and since then there has been a restructuring of the site, so please let me know by PM if there are links that do not work for you.
You certainly aren't the first person to join Skeptiko with fears of this sort. I began as a Christian, then abandoned that at age 20, while at university. Since I was studying science, being atheist seemed an obvious choice. There is something about the scientific view of the world that gives the impression that everything is explained by science in principle. In later years I have come to realise that the scientific view of life has huge gaps that it barely acknowledges, or actively fudges over. I also came to realise that much of the 'scepticism' about psychic forces, life after death, NDE's etc, doesn't come from a careful dispassionate assessment of the evidence, but a desperate attempt by materialists to squash all known facts into a box which clearly cannot contain them.
There is no better place to observe this than with the subject of NDE's. Here you have a vivid phenomenon, experienced by many, that is apparently not even mentioned in psychology textbooks. It clearly doesn't fit conventional ideas about the brain, because the mind seems to become vividly aware at a time when its cells are supposed to be barely hanging on to life at all. Also, people who suffer concussion (say) generally don't remember much around that time, yet when the brain is really in peril, the mind can experience an NDE, which is vividly remembered.
Listening to materialists explain phenomena such as these, is remarkable - they twist the evidence this way and that, to try to force it back into the materialist mould.
Obviously Skeptiko is not a religion, and many of us don't follow any religion. When I left Christianity, I felt it was a well meaning religion, but the dogma was clearly false. By now, I feel that Christianity can't be seen as well meaning if you average it over time and over the whole globe. Therefore I have no wish to return to it.
I suggest the real answer to your problems is to get beyond the traditional religious idea of
belief. Belief of that sort alternately comforts people and scares them witless as they see evidence that it may not be justified. Here you will find lots of evidence for various phenomena, but no proof - at least not proof a materialist would accept. That isn't because they have better explanations, but because in various ways, science has adopted broad brush explanations of things it really doesn't understand. Thus for example, they will tell you that consciousness is created by the brain, in a fashion that is loosely compared with a digital computer. The obvious problem with that, is that computers don't experience anything, or indeed have any inner experience. Many materialists also adopt a viewpoint that says that non-materialist ideas are so extraordinary that only extraordinary evidence would change their minds. In practice, this is just a clever way of saying, "I'll never believe that, ever, ever, whatever the evidence."
I find that open-minded interest in these phenomena is far more comforting than religious belief - because it can't be overturned by events or discoveries (many of which later turn out to have been hyped in various ways).
David