I don't think it's even possible to self annihilate, because I don't believe in oneness or unified consciousness. Nevertheless, your description of the Left Hand Path seems interesting. Is there any book or website about this topic that you would recommend?
Yes - there is a particular book which educated me greatly as to the origin of Right Hand Path and Left Hand Path and... because I am able to read materials regardless of what might be a sympathetic view towards one or the other, I read this book in that way.
The title is -
Lords of the Left-Hand Path: Forbidden Practices and Spiritual Heresies by Stephen E. Flowers, Ph.D.
It is one of the five most important books (personally) I ever read. It shattered all my "views" (which were revealed as biases based on ignorance) of the origin of these two paths and what each term meant.
Be warned that the book progresses towards a final section regarding The Temple of Set (Michael Aquino) but is in no way a defense of abhorrent practices.
I have followed Dr. Flowers for many years and as of late, he has settled in on Zoroastrianism as his tradion of affinity and practice. In fact, he published (only two years after publishing Lords of the Left-Hand Path) the following:
The Good Religion: The Occidental Temple of the Wise Lord under his religiously affiliated name Darban-I-Den which I am currently reading.
One last comment. A Left-Hand Path adherent would never pronounce that "self-annihilation" isn't possible as that would then contradict their most sacred tenet - that an individual can decide for themselves their future. In other words, if an individual wished to commit "soul suicide" (metaphor) they would view that as an available choice. It would be anti-Left-Hand Path to consider any outside influence such as "God" or "Nature" as having primacy over you, the individual, unless you allowed (chose) that concept to hold primacy (which is the essence of Right-Hand Path)... but that would be your choice.
The rub against Left-Hand Path which is arguably earned is the risk one goes beyond the understanding of one's own personal responsibility to an over-balanced lower egoic state. This is why I always say I am a Left Hand Path adherent yet Left and Up. I classify most forms of Gnosticism as "Left-Up" whereas I see Wicca and witchcraft as Left-Left and I see Satanism and related as Left-Down."
If you read Lords of the Left Hand Path, you might experience, as I did, a complete shift in thinking and being.
The best thing I took away from it was that I adopted the operational protocol that I was 100% responsible for everything in my life... not just my thoughts, words and deeds, but experiences (that they be karmic reflections and/or soul lesson opportunities I was ready to explore). The greatest benefit of adopting this view is that no longer can I ever be a victim of anything. The positive take away I have with regards to "what is possible" for another, I don't even consider as, IMO, that's their business - such as eventual self annihilation pathways like Hinduism or Westen world Abrahamic religions.
"God," for me is
post the Absolute. The Absolute is considered "actual reality" and that the Self (consciousness, God) is ultimately illusory. The Self I like to describe in this strange "thing" that came to me one day about six years ago -
“I (as us all) am (are)
simply the ‘All that Is’
that found a way to trick Itself
that It wasn't Itself
and simultaneously
hid Itself within Itself
such that It might (re)discover Itself
alive and individuated
within Its self-created Magick Kingdom.”
That is my view and so though I see from the POV of "actual reality" (The Absolute) that God, consciousness, myself as an individuated being or any "being" (self) for that matter, is ultimately
illusory, because I am experiencing
this way (as a being anchored in a sub-reality and encased within a perceived corpus), I embrace the illusion and as fearlessly as possible... I embrace this thing we call life and embrace the opportunity I choose to believe I have the choice to experience it for as long as I wish,
eternally if I wish, as an unbroken continuous individuated expression of being, even if part of the fun is forgetting experiences at the ordinary level of consciousness that occurred prior to this lifetime.