Mediumship and Psychic Development

F

Frank Matera

#1
I've started this thread on the request of a few people who wanted to know more about this and to ask questions about the process etc. Free free to ask any questions about it.

A little bit about myself and how I got into it. If I went into full detail it would be 50 pages long and I won't put you through that lol.

I've been working in Computer Science for going on 27 years now and most of that as a Software Engineer. I'm not religious. I was born into a Roman Catholic family where my mother attended church every weekend and my Dad didn't. We were dragged along... until about the age of 15 when Football on Sunday's was more important than going to church. Would not call myself religious at all... don't see the need for religion and see nothing but conflicting stories and goalpost moving when it comes to most organised religion.

My introduction to the whole world of PSI was via a girl I met on Facebook who was 24 year young, smoking hot surfer!!. I noticed she was into what I considered alternative hippy stuff. I'd seen John Edward and Lisa Williams on TV but thought nothing more of it. This girl messaged me one day and asked me if I was aware that I was "Very Psychic" which of course I had no idea. She then invited me to attend one of her "Psychic Development Workshops" she was running. Of course the skeptic in me thought she was just trying to drum up business for her class... but what the hell I wanted to meet her so I told her I would come along!

I turned up to her house and she answered the door. Not sure if you have ever had one of those moments where you meet someone and time stands still and you get a feeling of major dejavu like you have met them before and known them all your life..... that's what I felt. I would later find out she felt exactly the same way.

It was at this class where we did what I now call very basic exercises in Psychometry and card reading... card reading was meh... unimpressive to me. The Psychometry though was interesting... where you hold a piece of jewellery or an item belonging to someone and pick up things about them. I had more than a few things which I thought were just "random gibberish" end up being a little too accurate to be passed off as mere luck.

That started to pique my interest... and I started to regularly attend her weekly meditation and development classes... if for no other reason than it felt damn good to meditate every week. Something I had never done before. I started to get more involved in it and met new people who were "New Agey".

From there it was around 3-4 years of non-stop weekly development... several different teachers but mainly lots of practice. It started off as very week PSI.... and by the end of it I was doing full blown Mediumship on a stage in front of 100 people giving names, ages, events etc.

It probably took me a good 3 years until I was able to sufficiently convince myself that I was actually communicating with a spirit energy.... and not just cold reading, psychic reading energy etc. I am very very big on evidence... which I believe actually increased my ability because I pushed myself.

As I said... feel free to ask any questions about how it happened, what type of exercises, examples of how I knew etc... if you wish. There are literally 1000s of questions I could talk about.
 
#2
It probably took me a good 3 years until I was able to sufficiently convince myself that I was actually communicating with a spirit energy.... and not just cold reading, psychic reading energy etc. I am very very big on evidence... which I believe actually increased my ability because I pushed myself.
Thanks for encouraging questions!

During those first three years, before you believed you were communicating with spirit energy, do you think you were engaging in any cold reading at all? Also, do you ever now have the experience where you think you are communicating with a spirit, but then later, upon reflection, realize that you were actually cold reading someone? Do you ever have a hard time knowing which is which, even in very slight, subtle ways?

Thanks!
 
#5
Fascinating! Thank you, Frank, we really appreciate this opportunity. I had a phone reading with an intuitive medium Saturday; I'm still trying to sort it out, heh. I'm working on making a transcript of it and posting it here for analysis, preferably yours.

Can you elaborate on the concept and technique of grounding?
 
F

Frank Matera

#6
Thanks for encouraging questions!

During those first three years, before you believed you were communicating with spirit energy, do you think you were engaging in any cold reading at all? Also, do you ever now have the experience where you think you are communicating with a spirit, but then later, upon reflection, realize that you were actually cold reading someone? Do you ever have a hard time knowing which is which, even in very slight, subtle ways?

Thanks!
Great question... I wish more Psychics and Mediums questioned it too because they don't. The simple answer to that is Yes and most people who start off learning Mediumship do Cold Reading to an extent.... and it all comes down to one thing. EGO. Worrying about being wrong in front of people.... so they give information that is "comfortable" for them and which has a high likelihood of being right. It's a perfectly natural human behavior to do this... but legitimate Mediums pull through that.

I used to see it all the time with fellow students who would read me at development circles. I'm an Italian guy in his 40's.... grandmother would be deceased right? So they would ALL start describing my grandmother as a little lady who liked cooking and gardening and is wearing her apron. Except my grandmother was nothing like that... hated cooking and gardening. So why are they all telling me she looks this way and likes these things? because they are Cold Reading. You know what though... the 2 people in the class that were amazing Mediums.... they never brought my grandmother through.... but my cousin who committed suicide comes through every time. That's how I knew they were legit.

Cold Reading is also so damn easy to spot when you are on the receiving end of a reading. I can usually tell within 30 seconds of watching a Medium whether they are connecting as well or just reading Psychic energy rather than Mediumship.

Some of the "Cold Reading" was also as a result of poor training. Teachers that didn't push students into evidence and had them accepting "hits" that whilst they may have been technically correct... did not prove to me that a spirit was communicating. With teaching there is a very fine line between encouraging someone with feedback and deluding them into believing they are doing well and that something was a "hit".... and unfortunately within the New Age/ Spiritual movement there is a culture of people being "nice/spiritual" to people.... rather than being honest and brutal in their assessment.

As for now... no I don't cold read at all but that is because I am confident that I am connecting. If I get information that I consider "Generic" I generally won't say it... like "Do you have someone with a T initial" unless the spirit energy gives me another piece of information to go with it. But if I get the name "Tony" I may give it for no other reason than to establish they know a "Tony". If they say "YES" to that piece of information then I ask for 2 more pieces of information about Tony to give to the person.... and it's usually "Tell me how you died" and "How old were you". Only if all 3 pieces of information are correct for the ONE spirit... do I consider that a hit. That alone took me over a year of practice to accomplish.

So I go through a list of questions in my head. I will usually ask the person I am reading to say nothing more than "Yes" or "No". If they star to "Ummm and Ahhh" because they are not sure.... then 2 things happen. I hear nothing.... which means it's not for them.... or I hear more information in my mind... which is basically follow up. For example:

1. "I'm hearing an "Fi" sounding name... anyone have a Phil or Philomena? sounds like a long name."
2. "Yes I do.. Phillip"
3. "Did they work with their hands... its like sewing"
4. (Confused look from sitter)
5. At this stage I will get a feeling in my stomach as to whether it is for them or not... it's my internal body check to see if it feels right. If it feels off in my stomach then I tell them no it's for someone else....if it's for them I tell them it's definitely information for them. This is crucial because especially in an audience you have a lot of "spirit terrorists" that take spirits hostage.... they shove their hand up desperate for it to be for them.... when it's not. At this stage I will also feel my body being pulled as well in a direction if it's not for them.... then I definitely know the information is for someone else..... so I will say "No not for you" and then point to the part of the building where I am getting pulled to.
6. So I go the area that I am getting pulled too... and see a few more hands up... and the person it is for will literally jump out for me.
7. "Do you have a Phil or Philomena who did a lot of sewing?"
8. "Yes I do.. Philomena... she was a seamstress"
9. "Bingo and this must be an Aunt because on the family tree she is showing me above you and to the right on the branch... so she is not your grandmother"
10. "That's right she is my Aunt!"
11. "Thank you and she wants you to know she is with the man hobbling on 1 leg and the "St" sounding name"
12. Her brother Stan! he lost a leg in the war.

And there you go. That's how a proper reading is done. You never leave information isolated on it's own.... you have to build on it.... and what I find is that once you connect with someone... and it only has to be something like a name the information flows like a tap.

Statistically we all might know someone with an "Fi" sounding name.... Phil, Fiona, Philomena etc.... but when you have Philomena who was a seamstress who was the Aunt... who is with their brother Stan who lost a leg. Well I can almost guarantee nobody I know, you know or in this forum have someone with all of those "hits".

That's how you know that you cannot possibly be cold reading anymore. Most people never push themselves though to these limits... because they spend a few months learning or think they are "naturally gifted" and go straight into giving readings.

The only way you get better at being good at Mediumship is by learning what it feels like to be bad. Your mistakes are what makes you. Not many people are willing to put in the effort it takes.
 
#7
Great question... I wish more Psychics and Mediums questioned it too because they don't. The simple answer to that is Yes and most people who start off learning Mediumship do Cold Reading to an extent.... and it all comes down to one thing. EGO. Worrying about being wrong in front of people.... so they give information that is "comfortable" for them and which has a high likelihood of being right. It's a perfectly natural human behavior to do this... but legitimate Mediums pull through that.

I used to see it all the time with fellow students who would read me at development circles. I'm an Italian guy in his 40's.... grandmother would be deceased right? So they would ALL start describing my grandmother as a little lady who liked cooking and gardening and is wearing her apron. Except my grandmother was nothing like that... hated cooking and gardening. So why are they all telling me she looks this way and likes these things? because they are Cold Reading. You know what though... the 2 people in the class that were amazing Mediums.... they never brought my grandmother through.... but my cousin who committed suicide comes through every time. That's how I knew they were legit.

Cold Reading is also so damn easy to spot when you are on the receiving end of a reading. I can usually tell within 30 seconds of watching a Medium whether they are connecting as well or just reading Psychic energy rather than Mediumship.

Some of the "Cold Reading" was also as a result of poor training. Teachers that didn't push students into evidence and had them accepting "hits" that whilst they may have been technically correct... did not prove to me that a spirit was communicating. With teaching there is a very fine line between encouraging someone with feedback and deluding them into believing they are doing well and that something was a "hit".... and unfortunately within the New Age/ Spiritual movement there is a culture of people being "nice/spiritual" to people.... rather than being honest and brutal in their assessment.

As for now... no I don't cold read at all but that is because I am confident that I am connecting. If I get information that I consider "Generic" I generally won't say it... like "Do you have someone with a T initial" unless the spirit energy gives me another piece of information to go with it. But if I get the name "Tony" I may give it for no other reason than to establish they know a "Tony". If they say "YES" to that piece of information then I ask for 2 more pieces of information about Tony to give to the person.... and it's usually "Tell me how you died" and "How old were you". I go through a list of questions in my head. I will usually ask the person I am reading to say nothing more than "Yes" or "No". If they star to "Ummm and Ahhh" because they are not sure.... then 2 things happen. I hear nothing.... which means it's not for them.... or I hear more information in my mind... which is basically follow up. For example:

1. "I'm hearing an "Fi" sounding name... anyone have a Phil or Philomena? sounds like a long name."
2. "Yes I do.. Phillip"
3. "Did they work with their hands... its like sewing"
4. (Confused look from sitter)
5. At this stage I will get a feeling in my stomach as to whether it is for them or not... it's my internal body check to see if it feels right. If it feels off in my stomach then I tell them no it's for someone else....if it's for them I tell them it's definitely information for them. This is crucial because especially in an audience you have a lot of "spirit terrorists" that take spirits hostage.... they shove their hand up desperate for it to be for them.... when it's not. At this stage I will also feel my body being pulled as well in a direction if it's not for them.... then I definitely know the information is for someone else..... so I will say "No not for you" and then point to the part of the building where I am getting pulled to.
6. So I go the area that I am getting pulled too... and see a few more hands up... and the person it is for will literally jump out for me.
7. "Do you have a Phil or Philomena who did a lot of sewing?"
8. "Yes I do.. Philomena... she was a seamstress"
9. "Bingo and this must be an Aunt because on the family tree she is showing me above you and to the right on the branch... so she is not your grandmother"
10. "That's right she is my Aunt!"
11. "Thank you and she wants you to know she is with the man hobbling on 1 leg and the "St" sounding name"
12. Her brother Stan! he lost a leg in the war.

And there you go. That's how a proper reading is done. You never leave information isolated on it's own.... you have to build on it.... and what I find is that once you connect with someone... and it only has to be something like a name the information flows like a tap.

Statistically we all might know someone with an "Fi" sounding name.... Phil, Fiona, Philomena etc.... but when you have Philomena who was a seamstress who was the Aunt... who is with their brother Stan who lost a leg. Well I can almost guarantee nobody I know, you know or in this forum have someone with all of those "hits".

That's how you know that you cannot possibly be cold reading anymore.
You just ignored my advice, jerk. You're now my enemy. You're my little schizophrenic nemesis from now on, Frank.
 
F

Frank Matera

#10
Fascinating! Thank you, Frank, we really appreciate this opportunity. I had a phone reading with an intuitive medium Saturday; I'm still trying to sort it out, heh. I'm working on making a transcript of it and posting it here for analysis, preferably yours.

Can you elaborate on the concept and technique of grounding?
Grounding? You mean like when you hook up 2 live wires to an electrical outlet? ;)

In all seriousness though it's not too dissimilar to that... simply put grounding is about balance for me. People tell you that simply walking in sand or connecting with the earth is grounding yourself. Going out in the sun for a while is grounding. Hugging a tree if you feel like it. Just doing something you are passionate about is also grounding. You can also do meditations as well where you visualize connecting with the Earth.
 
#11
Ty for the opportunity. How do you separate the input that you get from being a medium from your own thoughts? Can you clearly separate them?

And well, i read your answer to brooke. Im a layman when it comes to mediums. To a person like me it seems like you are basically just guessing things until you hit something that could be correct. Is the input that you get as a medium just popping up in your brain or does it take a while to mainfest itself? And in what form do you get your medium-input? Words, pictures, sounds?

You also wrote that you didnt believe at all in stuff like that at some point. Was there any particular event that convinced you to think otherwise? I mean, getting quite a few hits right is interesting and weird, i understand that, but was there something that you couldnt explain away with anything else just like that that really did it prove for you?

And well, another one: Did you ever connect to something spiritual that was related to yourself?

And a last one... did you ever get descriptions of the place where the spiritual energy resides(heaven, afterlife, whatever you wanna call it)? If you did even get multiple of them, did they match to a certain degree?
 
#12
To a person like me it seems like you are basically just guessing things until you hit something that could be correct. Is the input that you get as a medium just popping up in your brain or does it take a while to mainfest itself? And in what form do you get your medium-input? Words, pictures, sounds?
So basically, like brooke, you're saying that Frank is delusional?
 
#13
How do you separate the input that you get from being a medium from your own thoughts?
For me it can be difficult, but at times when the spirit is a good communicator the mental impressions are stronger than my own thoughts. It's like the difference between a memory and a dream. A faint communication from a spirit might be like a memory - it could seem like my own thought. But a strong communication would be more like a dream. I don't normally have dreams while I am are wide awake, so I can tell it is not my own thought. You would recognize the difference between your own thoughts and a powerful vision. It can be like that. But an experienced medium can also tell the faint impressions too, but it takes a lot of training. In mediumship class you just say whatever comes into your mind. When the person you are reading confirms all those faint impressions are accurate, you learn that they are not your thoughts. Many mediums also meditate before giving readings so the activity of their mind is reduced, and many mediums will not want to know anything about the person they are reading or the spirits that might come through because they might start making inferences or deductions based on that information.

http://sites.google.com/site/chs4o8pt/psi_experience
http://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2012/10/what-is-it-like-to-communicate-with.html
 
#15
Grounding? You mean like when you hook up 2 live wires to an electrical outlet? ;)

In all seriousness though it's not too dissimilar to that... simply put grounding is about balance for me. People tell you that simply walking in sand or connecting with the earth is grounding yourself. Going out in the sun for a while is grounding. Hugging a tree if you feel like it. Just doing something you are passionate about is also grounding. You can also do meditations as well where you visualize connecting with the Earth.
I see what you did there :)

Okay then, I think I understand. From what you say, this sounds like it would benefit a meditative practice, am I correct? Grounding would calm the body by refamiliarizing itself with where it came from, while meditation would calm the mind by refamiliarizing itself with where it came from, it seems like.
 
#16
Great question... I wish more Psychics and Mediums questioned it too because they don't. The simple answer to that is Yes and most people who start off learning Mediumship do Cold Reading to an extent.... and it all comes down to one thing. EGO. Worrying about being wrong in front of people.... so they give information that is "comfortable" for them and which has a high likelihood of being right. It's a perfectly natural human behavior to do this... but legitimate Mediums pull through that.

I used to see it all the time with fellow students who would read me at development circles. I'm an Italian guy in his 40's.... grandmother would be deceased right? So they would ALL start describing my grandmother as a little lady who liked cooking and gardening and is wearing her apron. Except my grandmother was nothing like that... hated cooking and gardening. So why are they all telling me she looks this way and likes these things? because they are Cold Reading. You know what though... the 2 people in the class that were amazing Mediums.... they never brought my grandmother through.... but my cousin who committed suicide comes through every time. That's how I knew they were legit.

Cold Reading is also so damn easy to spot when you are on the receiving end of a reading. I can usually tell within 30 seconds of watching a Medium whether they are connecting as well or just reading Psychic energy rather than Mediumship.

Some of the "Cold Reading" was also as a result of poor training. Teachers that didn't push students into evidence and had them accepting "hits" that whilst they may have been technically correct... did not prove to me that a spirit was communicating. With teaching there is a very fine line between encouraging someone with feedback and deluding them into believing they are doing well and that something was a "hit".... and unfortunately within the New Age/ Spiritual movement there is a culture of people being "nice/spiritual" to people.... rather than being honest and brutal in their assessment.

As for now... no I don't cold read at all but that is because I am confident that I am connecting. If I get information that I consider "Generic" I generally won't say it... like "Do you have someone with a T initial" unless the spirit energy gives me another piece of information to go with it. But if I get the name "Tony" I may give it for no other reason than to establish they know a "Tony". If they say "YES" to that piece of information then I ask for 2 more pieces of information about Tony to give to the person.... and it's usually "Tell me how you died" and "How old were you". Only if all 3 pieces of information are correct for the ONE spirit... do I consider that a hit. That alone took me over a year of practice to accomplish.

So I go through a list of questions in my head. I will usually ask the person I am reading to say nothing more than "Yes" or "No". If they star to "Ummm and Ahhh" because they are not sure.... then 2 things happen. I hear nothing.... which means it's not for them.... or I hear more information in my mind... which is basically follow up. For example:

1. "I'm hearing an "Fi" sounding name... anyone have a Phil or Philomena? sounds like a long name."
2. "Yes I do.. Phillip"
3. "Did they work with their hands... its like sewing"
4. (Confused look from sitter)
5. At this stage I will get a feeling in my stomach as to whether it is for them or not... it's my internal body check to see if it feels right. If it feels off in my stomach then I tell them no it's for someone else....if it's for them I tell them it's definitely information for them. This is crucial because especially in an audience you have a lot of "spirit terrorists" that take spirits hostage.... they shove their hand up desperate for it to be for them.... when it's not. At this stage I will also feel my body being pulled as well in a direction if it's not for them.... then I definitely know the information is for someone else..... so I will say "No not for you" and then point to the part of the building where I am getting pulled to.
6. So I go the area that I am getting pulled too... and see a few more hands up... and the person it is for will literally jump out for me.
7. "Do you have a Phil or Philomena who did a lot of sewing?"
8. "Yes I do.. Philomena... she was a seamstress"
9. "Bingo and this must be an Aunt because on the family tree she is showing me above you and to the right on the branch... so she is not your grandmother"
10. "That's right she is my Aunt!"
11. "Thank you and she wants you to know she is with the man hobbling on 1 leg and the "St" sounding name"
12. Her brother Stan! he lost a leg in the war.

And there you go. That's how a proper reading is done. You never leave information isolated on it's own.... you have to build on it.... and what I find is that once you connect with someone... and it only has to be something like a name the information flows like a tap.

Statistically we all might know someone with an "Fi" sounding name.... Phil, Fiona, Philomena etc.... but when you have Philomena who was a seamstress who was the Aunt... who is with their brother Stan who lost a leg. Well I can almost guarantee nobody I know, you know or in this forum have someone with all of those "hits".

That's how you know that you cannot possibly be cold reading anymore. Most people never push themselves though to these limits... because they spend a few months learning or think they are "naturally gifted" and go straight into giving readings.

The only way you get better at being good at Mediumship is by learning what it feels like to be bad. Your mistakes are what makes you. Not many people are willing to put in the effort it takes.
Yes, a lot of it makes sense, especially the part about looking for 3 bits of information before calling it a hit, which made me laugh because it sounds like spiritual triangulating.

Your reading example made me wonder, what is proper etiquette for a sitter? What is appropriate for a sitter's response to a medium's statements? What I mean is, using your example, when you said your discarnate did a lot of sewing, the sitter replied, yes, she was a seamstress; however, you never said anything about the discarnate sewing for a living. Maybe Philomena sewed as part of her church's sewing circle on Tuesday nights, or she was a nurse in a military unit where her brother lost his leg, and she did a lot of emergency sewing of stitches and whatnot. By offering up, "yes, she was a seamstress," wouldn't the sitter be dirtying the quality of the reading, regardless of whether they intended to do so or not, and regardless of whether your abilities were real or not? At what point should a sitter offer up any information other than Yes or No?

I'm asking this because I'm thinking about how I acted in my own reading this past weekend.
 
#17
Thanks for encouraging questions!

During those first three years, before you believed you were communicating with spirit energy, do you think you were engaging in any cold reading at all? Also, do you ever now have the experience where you think you are communicating with a spirit, but then later, upon reflection, realize that you were actually cold reading someone? Do you ever have a hard time knowing which is which, even in very slight, subtle ways?

Thanks!
Following up on this question, while the mediumship side I get, I'm fuzzy on the psychic/intuitive side. At some point someone offering guidance (NOT predictions, guidance) to a sitter is bound to get a client who asks a really stupid question. Here's what I mean: say I go to a psychic/intuitive and ask them, "yeah, my ex-girlfriend stole my money, spread vicious rumors about me, and cheated on me with a bunch of guys who beat me up. But she's SO hot, what can I do to get her back?" Is psychic ability necessary to respond, "no, you're an idiot, stay away from her"? That's a rhetorical question, my real question is, are there times when a psychic intuitive can best respond with a common sense answer instead of one given by spirit, and if so, is it proper in those circumstances for the PI to say, " look, that wasn't me being psychic, that was me telling you what your kindergarten teacher would've said?"
 
#19
Only if all 3 pieces of information are correct for the ONE spirit... do I consider that a hit.
My questions are about those instances where there are no pieces of information at all. At least nothing factual or verifiable. I occasionally feel I have contact with one or other deceased relative, but there is no verifiable data involved. My only reason for paying any attention whatsoever to such instances is that they are infrequent, and have a qualitative nature which is different to my ordinary everyday thoughts. Have you experienced this. Does it or might it happen to anyone/everyone.
 
#20
This all reminds me of a conversation I had with my husband about psychic mediums. He said he thought it was all hogwash, everyone is a fake. So I asked him to pretend for a moment that he had died and I was with a medium and he was there trying to communicate. What would he try to communicate to convince me it really was him and the medium isn't a fake? He came up with a few things but quickly realized how hard that really is. Everything he came up with at first was very generic. It took us well over an hour before we came up with maybe a few items that only he and I would know that would be significant to us. Things you couldn't find out by talking to friends or family or checking public records.

So even sitting there, in front of each other, with no doubt we were together, it was really hard! That's without dimensions or realms or whatever in the way! People always expect mediums to make these significant, precise predictions, when just with that simple experiment you could see how nearly impossible that would be.

And that isn't taking into account the fact that time as we know it may not exist, free will, etc.

I hope I didn't derail your thread, Frank. I just thought I'd throw this in here, since it seemed appropriate.
 
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