How do you get clarity on such things? Great question. There have been certain things which have happened to me which I have ascribed to the paranormal but they are always elusive and, in my case, they are mixed up with a genuine mental illness which I suffered in 2009. So, I have these questions, what is illness, what is paranormal and what is coincidence? There is no answer. And, of course, among those who have experienced stronger things (like Andy) it is still elusive.
So, for me, my pain is about uncertainty. I want an Angel to appear and explain it all. Yet, I know somehow that the uncertainty of it is somehow central to the purpose of the thing. So that is a “firm" and interesting data point. Anyway, I feel your pain. I have spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about all this crap and it has not made me happy.
So, here, I will go ahead and volunteer something personal about this (sorry if it is off topic really as it has nothing to do with death dreams).
-In late 2009, I was (in retrospect) showing signs of psychosis. Up late at night. Working all the time. At the same time I was investigating UFOs in a serious way.
-On Oct 18, 2009 I went to this web page -
http://aulis.com/mars.htm I was in a semi psychotic state and I saw special meaning in the “intelligent placement” at the bottom of the webpage. I decoded this as a symbolic message where the tetrahedrons represented carbon (as carbon bonds in a tetrahedron) and the “circle” represented “helix” and the 2 represented “double” so I saw this as “double carbon helix” or “DNA”. This marked my real descent into psychosis. I believed this was a profound insight for about 4/5 days and I interrupted Stanton Friedman’s dinner (his phone number is on his website) and also emailed Nick Pope (famous UK UFO guy). A few days after that I was in a mental hospital (which is where I belonged).
-I was then quite psychotic for a couple of months. While psychotic I had a delusion about being the reincarnation of a Biblical figure (there is much more to this but I want to keep this as short as possible). Note that delusions are often grandiose and religious so this is a pretty common sort of delusion. I then got better and mostly left the delusion behind me (but not quite completely).
So, anyway, fast forward to late 2013. At this time, I listened to Skeptiko 122 about Nick Bunick (
http://www.skeptiko.com/122-reincarnation-of-apostle-paul-nick-bunick-scrutinized/) which I found really interesting. Nick Bunick, describes certain concrete events which are not subject to interpretation (so they must be paranormal or Nick and those around him are lying in some conspiracy (which makes no sense)). One important thing (which is close to the beginning of Nick’s "journey") is a piece of paper (5 pages actually) handed to him by Rick Eckard (says Epcot in the Skeptiko transcript which is an error). This is a key piece of paper to Nick. He reproduces it in at least one of his books. What is on this piece of paper? Well, there are a number of things (about 5) but two key things are the phrase “spiritual DNA” and a number of tetradrons, two of which are joined into a star tetrahedrons (a 3 dimensional Star of David). Nick takes the tetrahedrons as a angelic sign and then, most interesting, “spiritual DNA” is taken to be a sign that somebody is a reincarnation of a some kind of Biblical figure.
You can read more at
http://gwhardin2.herokuapp.com/books where you can download the book “The Messengers” (this is the book about Nick) for free. The piece of paper is described on page 35. A description that “spiritual DNA” implies somebody reincarnated from Biblical times is on page xi in the introduction.
So, my thing starts with two tetrahedrons and a reference to DNA and and so does Nick’s (among other things). I have a psychotic delusion thinking I am the reincarnation of a Biblical figure and Nick thinks he is the reincarnation of the Apostle Paul.
So, what am I supposed to make of this? Is it pure bad luck that my mental illness started with two tetrahedrons and DNA? How often do you find two tetrahedrons and DNA together (outside of chemistry textbooks)? Or, does it mean that I really am the reincarnation of a Biblical figure? Am I making something of nothing? Am I using the power of the internet to find needles in haystacks to find obscure links and connections (which I did when I was psychotic)? What is the role of my mental illness? Is there something paranormal here? What is coincidence? And, of course, what does it mean (if anything)?
And, of course, I keep thinking about it and trying to “solve it” and, of course, this is impossible. None of it has made me happier or made me any money. I “should” stop thinking about it and never visit Skeptiko again but when I have tried that it never lasts. Or, perhaps, I should visit more often. There is nowhere else where you can talk about this stuff. I have shared it with a few friends but they don’t know about any of this stuff (and, very interestingly, most of them just don’t care).
And then there are things like this (which happened to me after all this - last August in fact) -
http://www.skeptiko-forum.com/threads/mikes-bikes.1270/ What do I make of that? Coincidence? God likes bikes? I have a hard time dismissing it as coincidence yet it has no real meaning. It is highly improbable but how improbable is it really? Arghhh!
I have a database with 153 “signs” in it of which maybe 18 are possibles (the rest are definitely rubbish). Despite this I still can’t decide if anything paranormal has actually happened to me. That said, I am 100% sure that paranormal things have happened to others.
Anyway, sorry if I have ranted a bit (and been off topic).