I think it's strange that these experiences only happen to some people. I must admit, it's hard to understand reality with such a limited viewpoint.
Remember Grant's comment about "a tiny place in the left brain" as a major factor in that sense of separation? I had two severe head traumas - one when I was 8 years old and one when I was 10 years old. Who knows... just pure speculation. I never stop trying to figure out "why me and some others" and not "everyone." And understand, in my case, this had nothing to do with me being some sort of "good" being. I was a very psychologically messed up, angry, etc. person. And I had this other "pole" that believed deep inside I was a really good soul and an agent of good (and God). And those two lunacies did war against each other... I barely survived. Bottom line, I was and am no saint by any stretch of the label. In fact, Alex would have called me evil if he knew me when I was very young and if he had seen some of the things I did.
Here's the pre-cog dream and event details - (copied and pasted from my journal)
Each time I have a psi experience of any type, I step back and consider "am I crazy?" or could this be "real?"
In considering if it was real, I always consider
how could it be real? In other words, what would have to be in place for the experience to be real and not delusion. My answer (though I don't claim this to be true for another... I strive to avoid expressing myself in ways that a reader might feel I am imposing my view, my opinion), is that consciousness is fundamental because it seems the only framework within which these types of psi experiences can arise.
So here's the story. And because, for the reader to understand the significance of the object at the center of the story, I would need to write several pages and would surely lose most if, not all readers, I ask the reader to take my word for it that the object is extremely important to me and the story... and at a much more magnified level than anyone could imagine.
The object is an automobile title where I am co-owner (because I co-signed for the loan) along with my son, Anthony.
What I can say is that a mind boggling set of circumstances arose last summer (2019) whereby the result, from my perspective, was as if my son had died (though he did not physically die). His thinking and actions resulted in a likely permanent ending to our relationship.
And yet I am stuck as co-signer and... because I had originally (summer of 2018) pushed him to get the automobile and had promised him that I would always make the payments as long as I could, his thinking and actions were so horrendous, I experienced such a mix of emotions that it was torturous each month to keep making those payments. In addition, I was faced with the dilemma where I felt that it was a matter of my own integrity (what little I might have) to honor my promise regardless.
But the reality of the situation also exposed me to potential liability if he failed to maintain insurance. I tried to verify he was maintaining the insurance but was rebuffed because of "privacy laws" despite my name on the title.
Considering all the above, what stood out more than anything was an inevitability. At some point, the automobile would be paid off and the title would be in both our names. This provided me the opportunity to make him face me, in the flesh, if he wanted the car in his name because I was the primary lien holder and the title would be mailed to me and thus end up in my possession.
And then, as seems to happen all too often in my life when I think I got things exactly where I want them... weirdness steps in. First, an angel came along (my sister) and saw the terrible situation and, for the both of us, paid off the car! This then afforded me great relief from the emotional darkness I experienced each month when I made the payment but also, put me in position to have possession of the title and thus, an aspect of control of the situation... where at some point he would need to face me if he wanted the car placed solely in his name.
I learned the title was released on January 24, 2020 and mailed to my home.
On January 31, 2020, when I checked the US postal services "Informed Delivery" website of which I am a member, it showed the title was set for delivery along with two other mail pieces set for that day. When the postman came and went, I went to the mailbox and though the other two pieces of mail were in my mailbox, there was no title. Stress began. And over the course of the next several days... still no title, just more and more stress. Then I checked with the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles to try and get a new title (and make sure the missing title was cancelled), I was informed that both my son and I had to do this together. Jeeeez.
And so I waited and waited and started to face the fact that my plan to hold the title (almost as if I am holding him hostage) until he was willing to face me was falling apart. In part, because I was informed by the DMV that if the title fell into the wrong hands, it could (though highly unlikely), via fraudulent actions, be stolen "on paper."
So, considering all the above, though I had, for months, tried to avoid thinking about the terrible situation with my son... a situation far worse to live with emotionally than this silly car and title matter... I found myself doing a deep dive into my soul. Though, since the debacle arose last summer, after getting over my initial shock and anger, I had begun to send heartfelt prayers to my son and his family, I most recently began to feel a much greater sadness for all of us... and it has been the most challenging emotional dilemma of my life - equal only to my father's suicide (1979) and the divorce from my childrens' mother (2001).
So, on Thursday, February 13, 2020 I felt a shift inside and decided I would give up on my original plan... a plan that gave him the space and time to "come around" but also a plan where I always held the important cards (the title). Understand, there has been no communication between my son and myself since July 11, 2019. Still, I took the chance to write him an e-mail and explain the car had been paid off and that the title was missing and so we needed to get the title replaced asap and, because it was paid off, put it in his name.
I then felt compelled to text him to check his email, that the car had been paid off and we needed to get the title in his name. My son notoriously changes his number, so the odds were that his telephone number was no longer his. Additionally, it was fifty/fifty he had my number blocked if he had the same number. But at noon the next day, my message alert sounded and there was a message from him with this simple word... "Ok."
A wave of emotion consumed me. Tears came pouring out. It said everything to me... it said there was a glimmer of hope that he would one day face me, and we could somehow find a new way forward.
By Friday, the 15th of February, we had worked out an agreement to meet at the DMV to get the "lost title" application filed.
Then that night (well actually early the next morning), I had a dream... and the dream was incredibly vivid. And what I still remember in a frame by frame memory is that I was standing in front of the mailbox with an unusually large stack of mail in my hands. And I recall in the dream thinking that in this stack is the missing car title. And I recall reaching towards the back of the stack and pulling out...
the car title.
So later that morning, I heard the alert for the RING Doorbell system we have. I soon checked the video replay and saw the postman standing in front of the mailbox thumbing through his huge stack of mail and extracting several pieces which he then placed into the mailbox. It was at that moment I recalled the vivid dream. I believe what triggered the recall was because he had indeed placed such an unusually large amount of mail in the mailbox, just like the dream.
I ran down from upstairs and passed my wife, Cristina, who was working on her art and told her about the vivid dream I had that morning... that the title appeared in the dream.
I know this story has been long but it is finally at the end...
I exited the front door and turned to my left to face the mailbox, reached in and pulled out the large stack of mail. It was at this moment that everything that happened in the next 3 or so seconds
was exactly as it happened in the dream! And yes, exactly where I had reached when holding the stack of mail in the dream... there was the title. Of course, when it all dawned on me... the degree of my excitement wasn't because the title had arrived, it was because, I realized I had experienced my first true, precise, precognitive dream experience.
I can now add that to the list which is predominantly filled with synchronicities, but where I have had 5 OBEs (the last where I experienced the well known "vibration" feature), a likely "bi-location" event among many other types of psi related experiences.
All these experiences convince me more and more that consciousness is fundamental.
