I have mixed feelings about these interviews personally. While I'm sure some folks would find them very valuable, and Tim's work doubly-so, for me, I find it just very strange to consider all the things people do to, escape/avoid/reset themselves.
Yes — the need to escape, avoid, and reset signifies a discontent of some kind. They are valid coping mechanisms, but in the end all are just forms of avoidance, which is generally easier than tackling the problem head-on.
I do a lot of meditative inquiry work myself, and while I personally appreciate the aspect of reframing, doing the alternate "exercises" strike me as a waste of my Stoic time. Stoicism would seem to be completely in opposition of Tim's and Zen behavior in this way.
I think that some parts of Tim's approach would probably fit, but in a sort of shotgun blast approach that leaves a lot of little holes.
A Stoic would say, "There's a reason why you're dealing with this shit right now. It's a gift. See it as such and find a way through it to learn about what life is trying to teach you."
Yes, well me
not being a stoic would probably say something like, "Great, you meditate on your lump of shit. I'm gonna take mine, put in in a paper bag, stick it on someone's doorstep and light it on fire.
There's less unloading in Stoicism, than recognizing you're ego is feeling the weight, not the weight itself.
Well then, thankfully we have egos.
But then I've never been "hard on myself" as many people are. I see no reason to beat oneself up. Nor do I take personally what strangers say about me. After all, no one knows what is going on in my life but me, so why would I accept their judgements?
That doesn't sound like you're being very honest with yourself — even if you
think you are.
The most stress in my life has always been when I've been trapped in a job where someone else's mistaken perspectives of the universe or me forces me into some kind of corner.
You're never "trapped" in a job unless you literally can't walk out the door. And in a job, nobody can "force you into a corner". That's all in your own mind. Instead, think of how whatever they're doing to compromise your work is actually
their problem, and you're trying to help them, but if they don't see the value in that, and want to play some stupid power game instead, they're only helping to prove you're the better person, and they're the real problem.
I have my students write every day at the beginning of the class as it provides a number of values. First and foremost, it settles them down from previous classes, lunch, out doors, etc... It settles the mind to focus on one thing. And it provides the opportunity to face things they may not have yet considered. I decided to break the prompts into M= Mind, P= Patterns, E=Ethic/Spirit and want them to spend time thinking about the way they think. This works well for some, not so well for others. I'm sure I can grab a few students whose Tim's techniques would be very beneficial.
We begin with something. I try to provide as few words as possible so that they aren't directed by me.
For example, "10 years advice"
Sounds cool — I would have loved having you as a teacher. In fact I want to take your class — So let's see, in 10 years I'll be pushing 75, so my first thought is whether or not I'll even still be alive to worry about it. The next is realizing that by the time I get there, I'll have probably forgotten most of what happened during the previous 10 years, so rather than worrying too much about might happen in the future, I should probably focus more on what I'm doing right now.
Immediately they want direction. Advice for when they were 10? 10 years from now? Every Ten years?
I start them by spending five minutes listing everything their brain comes up with from the prompt. Just list.
After that they circle one thing that they want to explore more, and write more deeply for 10-15 minutes on that one thing.
Are you able to share any particularly memorable examples?
We share the process, not necessarily the contents. Students start to recognize emotions arising from some topics, memories, and sometimes just being stuck and asking themselves why.
All good stuff.
Thanks for sharing that. I feel inspired to write even more today! So now they'll have
you to blame
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